Navigate Workplace Conflict eBook

Navigate Workplace Conflict eBook

How to Navigate Workplace Conflict- ebook downloadI’ve noticed that so many conversations in the organizations I consult with revolve around conflict in one way or another. Whether it stems from unhealthy “competition” among peers, an ineffective management approach, or frustration from the bottom up, navigating conflict is challenging. It is just human nature to avoid conflict, particularly in the conflict-averse United States, where it’s usually our last resort to attend directly to the issues, tensions, and challenges at the heart of conflict.

 

My clients are often relieved to learn that conflict management – and conflict resolution – are not doomed. In fact, building collaborative teams that can work through potentially challenging situations together is remarkably simple. It just takes a lot of practice, commitment, and perseverance.

 

In my new ebook, How to Navigate Workplace Conflict: Sail Confidently into the Storm, I’ve collected some of the best advice, techniques, and tips for managing conflict instead of avoiding it. Conflict in the workplace is normal and sometimes even necessary. The ability to have healthy, productive conflict is the sign of a mature, sustainable relationship. To develop your team’s conflict management abilities, you first must establish strong, vulnerability-based trust among the various members of your team. You must establish clear alignment among goals and expectations for the team and everyone on it, learn how to integrate and consider varying perspectives and personality types in envisioning solutions, and bridge the divides among individuals and functional groups.

 

If you would like to focus on improving your conflict management behaviors and you’re open to learning some practical tools for doing just that, please click here to receive your free copy (for a limited time) of my new ebook, How to Navigate Workplace Conflict: Sail Confidently into the Storm.

 

The first 10 respondents will also get a free half-hour strategy session with Raven Consulting Group.

 

brick closeAbout Jeanie Duncan: Jeanie is President of Raven Consulting Group, a business she founded that focuses on organizational change and leadership development in the nonprofit sector. She is a senior consultant for Raffa, a national firm working with nonprofit clients to lead efforts in sustainability and succession planning, executive transition and search. Additionally, Jeanie serves as adjunct faculty for the Center for Creative Leadership, a top-ranked, global provider of executive leadership education.

Perspectives on Conflict with Your Boss

Perspectives on Conflict with Your Boss

seeing your way through Conflict With Your Boss

 

In my experience coaching executives transitioning into new leadership roles, they often express challenges in two particular areas: 1) a lack of alignment between the executive and his or her boss on goals and expectations, and 2) the reality of the role and responsibilities is different than was originally anticipated or promised.

It underscores the need to gather as much information as possible, ensure clarity early on (starting with the interview process), and build relationship with your boss to gain common understanding of expectations and priorities in the first 90 days. Without it, conflict can develop and escalate, threatening the success of the new executive’s transition and longer-term tenure.

To establish alignment of goals and expectations from the start, I encourage new executives to set a regular schedule of weekly or bi-weekly check-ins with his or her boss and co-create a leadership agenda in the first 90 days. This document sets forth strategic priorities and actions that the new leader will advance in the first 12 months. (Click here for a leadership agenda worksheet.) Once created, this agenda can serve as a guide for the check-in meetings as well as a tool for performance review at the six- and 12-month points.

In addition to the two common issues noted above, other key sources of challenge and potential conflict include:

  • You and your boss sit at different vantage points and therefore have different perspectives and ways of approaching and responding to situations.
  • A lack of confidence exists between the two of you.
  • There is a mismatch of values, beliefs, ethics, or some other element, such as leadership and management style, philosophy, or personality.

When you experience conflict with the person to whom you report, it presents unique challenges. It’s an area you must address head on and navigate cautiously. Noted by authors Davida Sharpe and Elinor Johnson in Managing Conflict with Your Boss, “As a manager with responsibilities up and down the organizational chain, recognizing and resolving conflicts with your boss may well define to what degree you can effectively contribute to your organization.”

It’s important to know the genesis and circumstances under which conflicts can arise. Understanding the source and context allows you to make a full examination of the conflict so you can work through to a resolution and avoid possible derailment.

Since the early 1980’s, the Center for Creative Leadership has studied executive derailment in North America and Europe. By comparing successful managers to those who derail, CCL has identified poor interpersonal skills (such as the inability to manage conflict) as the reason most often cited forcing executives off track. This top characteristic is followed by failure to hire, build, and lead a team and failure to meet business objectives.

CCL has found that of all the factors important for success within an organization, there are four that your boss is likely to value most: resourcefulness, doing whatever it takes, being a quick study, and decisiveness. If you are experiencing conflict, part of the issue may stem from your failure to meet his/her expectations in one or more of these key areas.

Below are a few questions to examine how well you perform in each of these areas:

Resourcefulness:

  • I think strategically under pressure.
  • I set up complex work systems.
  • I exhibit flexible problem-solving behavior.
  • I work effectively with higher management in dealing with the complexities of the job.

Doing whatever it takes:

  • I show perseverance and focus in the face of obstacles
  • I take charge
  • I learn from others when necessary

Being a quick study:

  • I quickly master new technical and business knowledge.

Decisiveness:

  • I make good decisions under pressure.
  • I make decisions and take action in a timely fashion.
  • I follow through on decisions.

 

Once complete, it can be helpful to share the questions and your responses with your boss and have a conversation around his or her expectations of you in each area.

Finally, in addition to these tools, it can be helpful to gather information on conflict management strategies from others, such as:

  • Seek advice from trusted individuals within your network.
  • Ask for formal and informal feedback.
  • Observe colleagues to glean best practices from others who report (or previously reported) directly to your boss.
  • Consider how you manage and relate to your own direct reports.
  • Look “up” in your organization. Understanding what your boss’s boss expects can tell you a lot about what he or she may expect of you.

________

Sharpe, D., & Johnson, E. (2002). Managing conflict with your boss. Greensboro, NC: Center for Creative Leadership.

 

Also read these related posts:

Bridge the Divide of Conflict With Direct Reports

Team Trust – Critical Yet Rare

Into the Storm: Mastering Team Conflict

A Process for Managing Peer Conflict

 

brick closeAbout Jeanie Duncan: Jeanie is President of Raven Consulting Group, a business she founded that focuses on organizational change and leadership development in the nonprofit sector. She is a senior consultant for Raffa, a national firm working with nonprofit clients to lead efforts in sustainability and succession planning, executive transition and search. Additionally, Jeanie serves as adjunct faculty for the Center for Creative Leadership, a top-ranked, global provider of executive leadership education.

A Process for Managing Peer Conflict

A Process for Managing Peer Conflict

Conflict on Warning Road Sign.

Recently, I was engaged with a client that had undergone a merger. The transition was going reasonably well overall; however, the combined management teams were entangled in challenge and conflict as they attempted to bring together organization functions, structures, and policies.

Conflict among peers brings with it unique nuances that are different than conflict with a boss or direct report. In this situation, it’s generally a relationship of equals and, as such, it’s especially important to consider positional and personal power, influence, and interpersonal savvy. And like all conflict, it shouldn’t be avoided, but rather managed and resolved through a thoughtful process.

Because organizations rely so heavily on collaborative peer relationships (one-on-one or in teams) to achieve results, using a conflict management process that centers on partnership can be a successful strategy for reaching solution. An important first step is to identify common ground that colleagues can agree on.

Working with this newly merged leadership team, we first considered the following, the knowledge of which provided greater context before diving into the particular issues:

  • Get to know your peers – who they are, how they respond to specific emotional triggers, what they value, what kind of organizational power they have.
  • Think about who you are within that mix – your own responses, values, and power.
  • Together, identify “rules of engagement” and how you will address conflict. Establish clear norms, keep these visible and present, and hold everyone accountable for what they’ve agreed upon. It’s important to ensuring a productive exchange of ideas.

Next, we advanced through a series of steps to successfully work through and resolve the conflict:

Define the problem: Create a clear picture of the challenge, describing it in detail, for example: What are the circumstances around it? What are the different perspectives each person brings? What behaviors are team members observing, both among themselves and others? What are the thoughts and feelings about the conflict?

Gather information: Keep it focused on ideas and procedures, not on emotions. Make sure you understand the facts behind the issue that spawned the conflict. Do you and your peer have opposing strategies or tactics for achieving a specific objective? Think through your ideas and give your peer’s ideas due consideration.

Look for options and different perspectives: Find the missing piece. Seek advice from a trusted external source whose opinions and perceptions differ from your own. Use that to help you work through the situation.

Envision a solution: Based on what you know and have learned, imagine how the conflict might play out. If it’s helpful, try writing a short “script” or talking through the scenario with a partner using the following as a guideline:

  • Establish rapport and set the stage: How can you break the ice and lay the groundwork for a discussion? Think of what you might actually say.
  • Describe the situation and the behavior. How can you state clearly and objectively what you want in a way that is less likely to provoke excessive defensiveness? Plan what you will say.
  • Prepare for the interaction: Outline how the other person might respond and what you will say in response.
  • Review and reflect: Answer the following after your meeting: What did you learn? What worked? What could be improved?

Evaluate the answer: Focus your plan on ideas and procedures. If you keep your conflict management plan close to that path, then you and your peer have a better chance of creating a successful resolution.

Learn from the experience: After you resolve the conflict, debrief the process with yourself and with your conflict partner, if possible. Did the resolution of the conflict settle the issue? Did it improve your relationship with your peer? If you can’t answer yes to both of these questions, then start planning for the next conflict with this peer. It may take the process more than once to establish rapport, settle an issue, and establish a way of working together through challenges.

It amazes me the degree to which business success depends on the ability of leaders to work together collaboratively and how little time and preparation is typically taken from the start to establish the essential foundation of trust and a true sense of “team.” Like my recently merged client organization, leaders frequently jump into their day-to-day execution of priorities as if they have a historical context of working together, and quickly encounter clashes with values, expectations, incorrect assumptions, and more. Its no wonder they encounter such blocks and barriers.

These steps provide critical considerations as you examine your approach to managing conflict with peers. But before you adopt these tactics, be sure you understand as much about yourself and your peer as you can. Your success at managing peer conflicts relies on your understanding how emotional hot buttons, personal values, and organization and personal power affect, and are affected by, conflict situations and how they influence the resolution.

________

Cartwright, T. (2003). Managing conflict with peers. Greensboro, NC: Center for Creative Leadership.

 

Also read these related posts:

Perspectives on Conflict with Your Boss

Bridge the Divide of Conflict With Direct Reports

Team Trust – Critical Yet Rare

Into the Storm: Mastering Team Conflict

 

about-leadershipAbout Jeanie Duncan: Jeanie is President of Raven Consulting Group, a business she founded that focuses on organizational change and leadership development in the nonprofit sector. She is a senior consultant for Raffa, a national firm working with nonprofit clients to lead efforts in sustainability and succession planning, executive transition and search. Additionally, Jeanie serves as adjunct faculty for the Center for Creative Leadership, a top-ranked, global provider of executive leadership education.

Into the Storm: Mastering team conflict

Into the Storm: Mastering team conflict

transition-coachingAs a sailor, when I see a storm building on the horizon, I intentionally alter my path to circumvent the system – tacking to port or starboard, or identifying a cove or marina to head into for safety…anything to escape the danger that lies ahead.

In the business setting, our human tendency is to do the same – avoid the storm, the conflict, that we see brewing. We are a conflict-adverse culture and society. Often, our last (or near last) resort is moving directly into the issue, tension, and challenge to attend to what must be addressed.

So, why is this? Why do we avoid addressing and resolving conflict? Why is it so difficult? Afterall, it’s often identified as one of the most important competencies required of top leaders to succeed. Beyond the fact that conflict is flat out uncomfortable, I believe our aversion is due to a few key things:

  • Many of us learn early on in our formative years to avoid making waves, to listen to others, and be polite. Personally, as a female growing up in the southeastern United States, I often would say one thing and mean another – too afraid to share my true thoughts and risk offending someone. My parents, as well as others who shaped and influenced me early on, taught me that questioning and being direct was considered rude, bossy, and aggressive, so I simply didn’t practice it.
  • When starting out in our careers, we’re young, new in a position, trying to gain an understanding of the office culture, and learning the political landscape. We’re encouraged (whether expressed or not) to be tactful and diplomatic – “keep your head down and get the job done” – or else become known as the difficult employee…sometimes risking losing our job altogether.
  • When we advance and move from a role as an individual contributor to a role of leading others, the relationships necessary for working together often spawn conflict. Our tendency can be to revert back to what we know well – our individual strengths, whether technical, financial, sales, etc. – and avoid the sticky, messy group dynamics of gaining alignment and commitment to work toward a common goal. We can also avoid acting as a result of preservation (of relationships, tradition, etc.) and territory, digging our heels in to protect our own viewpoints, values, and beliefs and refuse to move.

Conflict is difficult for a number of reasons – those mentioned above and others you can surmise. But difficult as it may be, addressing and resolving conflict is critically important to individual and organization success. It begins with defining what conflict is in the first place and understanding it as something to be dealt with instead of avoided.

At its core, conflict is disharmony and discord between people, interests, or ideas. It’s also natural to the human experience. Where there are people, there will be conflict. Afterall, people are emotional beings. We have deeply held beliefs, values, and experiences that have shaped who we are. We’re bound to bring this into how we express ourselves, make decisions, and communicate with one another. And when we do, we will differ, disagree, and sometimes clash. The key to making it work and being effective, is to learn to have open, honest debate and dialogue around issues of importance to the team. It can only happen if vulnerability-based trust exists.

Teams without trust often argue destructively because they are laced with politics, pride, and competition, rather than humble pursuit of truth. When trust exists, team members say everything that needs to be said and it leaves less to talk about behind closed doors. Conflict is always at least a little uncomfortable. And it’s inevitable that people will feel under some degree of personal attack. This is still no reason to avoid conflict.

As Patrick Lencioni states in his book, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, “If team members are not making one another uncomfortable at times, if they’re never pushing one another outside of their emotional comfort zones during discussions, then it is extremely likely that they’re not making the best decisions for the organization.”

The problem around conflict that I most often see in relationships and teams is artificial harmony with no conflict at all, coupled with great fear of moving in that direction. It reminds me of a friend who told me that he and his girlfriend of two years had never had an argument. He shared this as a point of pride; however, I see this as a warning sign. The ability to have healthy, productive conflict is a symbol of maturity and sustainability in a relationship. When a relationship or team shows that it can survive an incident of significant conflict, it builds greater trust and confidence in the relationship.

Let’s examine a few key practices to engaging in and managing team conflict:

  1. Begin with trust building exercises. A team (or a relationship of any kind) and its members must know and trust one another before it can engage in courageous conversations and move into and through conflict together. (See key tips in my blog post: Team Trust – Critical Yet Rare)
  2. Identify “rules of engagement” and how you will address conflict together. Establish clear norms, keep these visible and present, and hold everyone accountable for what they’ve agreed upon. It’s important to ensuring a productive exchange of ideas.
  3. Gain clarity on viewpoints and comfort levels with conflict, because they can differ greatly. On one extreme are the people who are comfortable arguing passionately; on the other are those who are not comfortable expressing the mildest of dissention. Know where your team members fall, why they fall there, and what’s important to them as you work together to address conflict.
  4. Be clear on role clarity and alignment. Individual team members need to be crystal clear on their own role, how their role supports the team’s work, and how the collective team’s work supports the organization’s mission.
  5. Create a feedback rich environment in the spirit of understanding one another’s behaviors and the impact of those behaviors on teamwork and effectiveness. Foster a culture that encourages team members to give feedback to one another in a positive, non-judgmental manner, and then members use that feedback to shape and adapt their behaviors to yield the greatest results.
  6. Leaders must be miners of conflict. It’s important for a leader “not only to light the fuse of good conflict, but also to gently fan the flames,” states Lencioni. “Even when team norms for conflict have been set, most people will shy away from conflict.” Seek out opportunities for unearthing buried conflict and require team members to address the issues. An issue lying dormant is merely simmering beneath the surface and can be on the verge of erupting…or can quietly undermine progress.

Given human nature and the pressures of organizational life, there’s likely to always be conflict wherever people are together. But this conflict can be managed so that it’s a productive encounter that leaves individuals engaged in their work, honored and supported for their ideas and beliefs, and the organization on a path to mission delivery success.

_______

Lencioni, P. (2005). Overcoming the five dysfunctions of a team: a field guide. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

 

Also read these related blog posts:

Perspectives on Conflict with Your Boss

Bridge the Divide of Conflict with Direct Reports

Team Trust – Critical Yet Rare

A Process for Managing Peer Conflict

 

about-leadershipAbout Jeanie Duncan: Jeanie is President of Raven Consulting Group, a business she founded that focuses on organizational change and leadership development in the nonprofit sector. She is a senior consultant for Raffa, a national firm working with nonprofit clients to lead efforts in sustainability and succession planning, executive transition and search. Additionally, Jeanie serves as adjunct faculty for the Center for Creative Leadership, a top-ranked, global provider of executive leadership education.