Oct 6, 2014 | Coaching
Individuals come to coaching via different pathways and that path can make a big difference whether you meet it with openness or resistance, or a point somewhere in between. One thing for certain, to be successful, coaching cannot be forced.
Your perception of coaching greatly affects your readiness to benefit from having a coach. If it’s just a status symbol, a job perk, or a development tool being prescribed to you, it’s less likely that you’ll be open and commit the time and effort it takes to assess and change your behavior.
If you believe that your organization or boss is punishing you by asking you to get coaching, you may feel that it’s demeaning or a waste of time. But if you see coaching as a powerful tool to cultivate self-awareness, tap into your strengths, and facilitate learning, you’ve taken the first step toward realizing its value and benefit. It’s a good idea to assess your readiness for what will be a serious commitment, and at times an uncomfortable experience, as you stretch and grow through a coaching relationship.
Review the following and consider your response to help you determine your coaching readiness:
- I have or can make available the time for regular coaching sessions and for any action items that a coach might request, such as goal setting, assessments, and development activities.
- I want to make changes for myself, not for someone else.
- Coaching is happening at the right time and place in my life.
- I trust in the coaching process and believe that it will serve my learning and development.
- I am willing to eliminate or modify self-defeating behaviors that limit my success.
- I am open to receiving and reflecting on feedback that supports my growth and development.
- Hiring a professional coach is not a sign of weakness, but a worthwhile developmental strategy and worth the investment.
- I don’t feel resistance to engaging a coach and believe that coaching will make a difference.
In addition to the above points in considering a coaching relationship, there are challenges and complexities that arise in your life and work that can make it especially timely to seek external support and a strategy partner through coaching. You and/or your organization may be:
- Experiencing significant change and transition.
- Stuck, or not growing as you believe you could be.
- Unclear on where you need or want to be in five years.
- Experiencing increased complexity in your role and organization.
- Seeking a confidential, safe space where you can express concerns and challenges.
- Working too hard for the results you’re getting.
- Dealing with a high degree of stress, which is taking toll on your health and relationships.
- Unable to build a great team you trust and that works well together.
- Struggling with ‘managing it all’ and maintaining boundaries.
Understanding why you seek coaching and what you bring to the coaching relationship will make you more effective as a partner in creating an optimal experience. Think about your situation, motivation, learning style, and ability to use resources and relationships for growth. Now may be the ideal time to explore options for your growth and how coaching can be a significant accelerator for it.
About Jeanie Duncan: Jeanie is President of Raven Consulting Group, a business she founded that focuses on organizational change and leadership development in the nonprofit sector. She is a senior consultant for Raffa, a national firm working with nonprofit clients to lead efforts in sustainability and succession planning, executive transition and search. Additionally, Jeanie serves as adjunct faculty for the Center for Creative Leadership, a top-ranked, global provider of executive leadership education.
Sep 29, 2014 | Career, Coaching, Leadership
I believe deeply in the value and impact of coaching. Yet in my work, I’ve discovered that many people have never had a coaching relationship and aren’t quite sure what to expect. I would like to share more about leadership coaching, possibly dispel some myths, and offer perspective about when it might be right for you.
One way I like to think of leadership coaching as similar to how an elite athlete uses a coach. A good coach helps leaders develop clarity of purpose and focus on action. The relationship is a formal engagement in which a qualified coach works with an organizational leader in a series of dynamic, confidential sessions designed to establish and achieve clear goals that result in improved effectiveness for the individual, and often for his or her team and organization.
And to better understand what coaching is, it can be helpful to briefly highlight what coaching is not:
- Counseling or therapy, which is focused on insight into history, psychological healing, pain resolution, and coping mechanisms.
- Consulting, where a consultant offers external expertise to assess, analyze, and offer technical advice or recommendations to solve a particular problem or challenge.
- Training, with the intended outcome to impart knowledge from an expert to a student where the student gains or sharpens specific skills.
Every coaching relationship is unique due to the specific situation of the person seeking coaching and the coach’s approach. However, there are some key elements you can expect with the engagement.
Contracting – This refers to everything that’s involved in setting up the actual coaching relationship and the overall process, from when and how often to meet, whether you’ll meet in-person, by phone or other virtual platforms, to fee structure and billing, and how to handle appointment scheduling and changes.
Boundaries and Confidentiality – This includes such elements as how information is handled (confidentiality and report expectations) and how the coaching relationship fits into the existing network of relationships. Information provided by the client is kept strictly confidential except as otherwise authorized in writing by the client. For example, the coach and client may agree that the goals or results of the coaching work can be reported to his/her boss or other organizational representative. Also, the coach may support the client in preparation of reports he/she makes to a boss or other stakeholder.
Mutual Role Clarity – A primary value your coach brings is helping you decide and act more effectively, not thinking or deciding for you. Your coach will be an ally, supporter, and sounding board. You can expect him/her to be direct and honest, asking powerful questions and making empowering requests that support your desired outcome. As the client, you’ll get the most from your coaching relationship if you show up engaged, willing to examine yourself – your values, beliefs, behaviors, and impact, and are open to make changes necessary to become more effective. Its important to realize that coaching is a comprehensive process that takes time and may address any area of your life, including specific career aspirations, business projects, leadership, or personal topics such as finances, health, and relationships. Even if your coaching engagement is formed in a professional work context, you bring your full self to the experience and therefore “whole life” is taken into account.
I first hired a coach when I was considering applying for a top leadership position in my organization. I wanted to pursue the opportunity and felt I needed a partner with whom to review it from all angles – someone removed from the situation, who would ask me thought-provoking questions, and help me confirm that I was the right person at the right time.
Since that first experience, I’ve hired coaches over the years and now make it a part of my ongoing personal and professional development to retain a coach. The following are some situations where a coach can be particularly helpful:
- You and your organization are experiencing significant change and transition.
- Your organization is not growing as you believe it could.
- You’re unclear on where you need or want to be in five years.
- You’re experiencing increased complexity in your role and organization.
- You seek a confidential, safe space where you can express concerns and challenges.
- You are working too hard for the results you’re getting.
- Stress is taking toll on your health and relationships.
- You’re not spending time on the most productive tasks.
- You haven’t been able to build a great team you trust and that works well together.
- You’re not enjoying your work as much as you once did.
- You struggle with whole life balance.
Using a leadership coach as a developmental partner provides a rich opportunity to learn, reflect, change, and grow. Like any relationship, it’s important to know what to expect and to co-create a constructive alliance. Through your work together, you develop the skills, behaviors, and knowledge enabling you to increase your effectiveness.
About Jeanie Duncan: Jeanie is President of Raven Consulting Group, a business she founded that focuses on organizational change and leadership development in the nonprofit sector. She is a senior consultant for Raffa, a national firm working with nonprofit clients to lead efforts in sustainability and succession planning, executive transition and search. Additionally, Jeanie serves as adjunct faculty for the Center for Creative Leadership, a top-ranked, global provider of executive leadership education.
Sep 23, 2014 | Intention
The American Psychological Association offers ten ways to develop and use a personal strategy for enhancing resilience. The key is to identify ways that are likely to work well for you as part of your own personal approach.
I especially like #1. When I get stuck and feel “up against it,” it helps to think of people resources around me – those who might have ideas or approaches to solving a particular challenge…or may have been through a similar experience and can offer insight. What about you?
- Make connections. Good relationships with close family members, friends or others are important. Accepting help and support from those who care about you and will listen to you strengthens resilience. Some people find that being active in civic groups, faith-based organizations, or other local groups provides social support and can help with reclaiming hope. Assisting others in their time of need also can benefit the helper.
- Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems. You can’t change the fact that highly stressful events happen, but you can change how you interpret and respond to these events. Try looking beyond the present to how future circumstances may be a little better. Note any subtle ways in which you might already feel somewhat better as you deal with difficult situations.
- Accept that change is a part of living. Certain goals may no longer be attainable as a result of adverse situations. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed can help you focus on circumstances that you can alter.
- Move toward your goals. Develop some realistic goals. Do something regularly — even if it seems like a small accomplishment — that enables you to move toward your goals. Instead of focusing on tasks that seem unachievable, ask yourself, “What’s one thing I know I can accomplish today that helps me move in the direction I want to go?”
- Take decisive actions. Act on adverse situations as much as you can. Take decisive actions, rather than detaching completely from problems and stresses and wishing they would just go away.
- Look for opportunities for self-discovery. People often learn something about themselves and may find that they have grown in some respect as a result of their struggle with loss. Many people who have experienced tragedies and hardship have reported better relationships, greater sense of strength even while feeling vulnerable, increased sense of self-worth, a more developed spirituality and heightened appreciation for life.
- Nurture a positive view of yourself. Developing confidence in your ability to solve problems and trusting your instincts helps build resilience.
- Keep things in perspective. Even when facing very painful events, try to consider the stressful situation in a broader context and keep a long-term perspective. Avoid blowing the event out of proportion.
- Maintain a hopeful outlook. An optimistic outlook enables you to expect that good things will happen in your life. Try visualizing what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear.
- Take care of yourself. Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Engage in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing. Exercise regularly. Taking care of yourself helps to keep your mind and body primed to deal with situations that require resilience.
Read other related blog posts:
Building Your Resiliency Muscle
About Jeanie Duncan: Jeanie is President of Raven Consulting Group, a business she founded that focuses on organizational change and leadership development in the nonprofit sector. She is a senior consultant for Raffa, a national firm working with nonprofit clients to lead efforts in sustainability and succession planning, executive transition and search. Additionally, Jeanie serves as adjunct faculty for the Center for Creative Leadership, a top-ranked, global provider of executive leadership education.
Source: http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience.aspx#
photo credit: HikingArtist.com via photopin cc
Sep 16, 2014 | Intention
Our lives are filled with high levels of pressure and complexity. We’re faced with mounting responsibility, competing priorities, and multiple deadlines, from all areas of our life – work, family, and community. Some seem to manage it all with ease, exhibiting confidence and an outward sense of calm, while others appear anxious and visibly frustrated at every turn.
So, why are some people able to handle this level of ‘turbulence’ better than others? I believe it’s resilience – a kind of ingenuity and elasticity – where we tap into our strengths and resources and spring back. And it’s not something that comes instinctively or easily, but rather it evolves with mindfulness and practice over time.
I think of organizational leaders I know as well as families, and others in relationships – if you’re not resilient, you will struggle in fast-paced, challenging, and ambiguous situations. If you’re easily stressed and irritated you won’t perform at your best, your health may decline, and your relationships will suffer. You might think of it as personal sustainability training. The better equipped you are at handling these situations and bouncing back, the better you’ll be at sustaining your energy, enthusiasm, and passion over the long-term.
There are many actions you can take to help build resiliency. Consider the following as well as ideas of your own. Get creative and have fun with it!
Mental/Emotional
– Practice mindfulness in your day-to-day life. The more we practice being in the moment, the better able we are to show up fully for whatever comes our way.
– Come up with a mantra, a brief slogan or statement of your intentions, so that you can recall it when needed.
– Keep a collection of inspiring quotes that have meaning for you. Categorize by topic and refer to them based on your situation. Here’s a good one: “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” – Nelson Mandela.
– Listen to some of your favorite music to help shift and ignite your energy and mindset.
– Take several deep, cleansing breaths. Breathing in and out in an intentional, invigorating way can help you center, reset, and recharge.
Physical
– Take action. When you feel overwhelmed, it can help to break a large task or project down into smaller pieces and take a concrete step forward to make progress or improve the situation.
– Engage your physical strength through things like working out at a gym, going for a walk in nature, or attending a yoga class. Nothing helps me more than a long trail run in the woods – I love the smells, sounds, and physical endurance of running for an hour or more.
– If you have a meeting at work, ask your colleague(s) to go for a walking meeting. The movement helps open up thoughts and ideas.
– Pay attention to your nutrition and eating habits. Eat well to “fuel” yourself adequately for optimum performance.
– Get plenty of rest and down time. Taking a brief “time-out,” such as a long lunch or an afternoon off can offer just the reset we need. One of my favorites is visiting an art gallery in between meetings or after work.
Spiritual
– Engage in a spiritual and/or religious practice such as meditation or prayer. Taking the time to get quiet and turn your attention inward can reconnect you with what feels sacred and grounding. Sometimes I’ll steal away brief moments for a quick meditation when stuck in traffic, at a stoplight, or while waiting in line. It reframes a frustrating moment into a Zen moment. Try it sometime!
– Write down the core of your spiritual values and beliefs. Then write a spiritual reminder (a short phrase representing your beliefs, meaning, and purpose of life) that can help you recall your beliefs when facing adversity.
– Read inspirational materials as a way of taking in quick doses of positivity (check out sites like DailyOM.com and dailygood.org). I subscribe to a couple of these and enjoy reading them as I start my day.
Social
– Build a diverse and broad network including personal friends, work colleagues, faith and community connections. Reach out and engage regularly; you’ll be amazed at what transpires from the interaction.
– Make connections with other individuals and groups, such as participating in a club or small group activity.
– Boost the resiliency of someone else. Sometimes the best way to reconnect with our own strength is to support someone else with care and encouragement.
– Think of someone you know who exudes resiliency. It can help to access an example as we attempt to connect with our own inner strength. Personally, I have a couple of women business owners that I get together with frequently and seek their wisdom and insight on all kinds of issues and challenges.
– Develop your own personal ‘board of directors’ – people that positively influence and support you.
What are some of your ideas and actions for practicing resiliency?
Read other related blog posts:
10 Ways to Build Resilience
About Jeanie Duncan: Jeanie is President of Raven Consulting Group, a business she founded that focuses on organizational change and leadership development in the nonprofit sector. She is a senior consultant for Raffa, a national firm working with nonprofit clients to lead efforts in sustainability and succession planning, executive transition and search. Additionally, Jeanie serves as adjunct faculty for the Center for Creative Leadership, a top-ranked, global provider of executive leadership education.
photo credit: Seaweed Lady {cory} via photopin cc
Sep 2, 2014 | Intention
I remember elementary school and “field day” each year in the late spring. I looked forward to it with great anticipation. We’d have team relay races – three-legged, potato sack, egg-and-spoon – and then the best event of all…tug of war.
We’d grab the rope with our sweaty fists, grit our teeth, dig our heels in, and go to it. Tugging ferociously to and fro, sometimes the battle was quickly won and other times it seemed to go on forever until one team succumbed to the other, often getting drug to the dusty ground and across the line.
I may have liked this challenge on the playground, but it certainly is not the experience I want coming alive in my real life. Yet, sometimes it happens – mostly when I’m torn between competing priorities of work, family, community, and self. I feel “up against it” trying to manage and balance the many priorities and expectations.
Much like Elizabeth – the nonprofit executive portrayed in the attached article “Yes, You CAN Balance Work and Family Roles” – I experience the tension between consuming work responsibilities and my other life roles. This was especially true for me while serving in various leadership roles in the nonprofit sector, most recently as President & CEO of an arts council.
Early on in that position, I didn’t know any other way to be than “always on.” I thought, “If I’m not thinking about the organization, who is?” I constantly assessed, planned, strategized, and engaged my team and stakeholders. I knew the importance and necessity of being the face of the organization, a presence at local arts and cultural events during evenings and weekends, and “at the table” with other critical community leaders.
At home, I had a 4-year-old son, a spouse with an equally demanding career, and aging parents that needed my increasing attention and support. For years, I served in this complex and demanding role, often recalling the field day memories of tugging to meet all the demands while aiming for balance among my life’s personal and professional interplay.
Nearly a decade later, I completed my tenure with the organization. Between leaving that post and starting my own business, I decided to take a sabbatical. I wanted to clear my head, explore creative pursuits, and allow myself the space and time to renew my energy, be with friends and family, and shape what would come next.
During this time off, I learned that, while successful, the way in which I led was not a sustainable practice. Going forward, I committed to living a more realistic pace, adjusting my expectations of myself (and others), and more fully honoring my core values.
Courtney Welch, Inspired by Movement
For me, work-life balance is more about creating and managing flow than literally attempting to divide up and assign the number of hours in a day to the important activities of life. If something I’m doing has positive impact and gives me energy, then I have this sense of resonance and ease – regardless of the actual hours I’ve spent doing it. My life feels aligned, or “in balance.” This allows me to channel that energy into taking care of what’s important to me – both at work and outside of work.
Finding a workable approach to life is critical and can benefit your well-being, relationships, and the organization you serve. This article – “Yes, You CAN Balance Work and Family Roles” – offers five steps that can help you start today to create a more fulfilling life for yourself. We’d love to hear what’s working for you to create work-life balance.
Read other related blog posts:
I Got This! Creating a Life of Choice, Resonance, and Flow
About Jeanie Duncan: Jeanie is President of Raven Consulting Group, a business she founded that focuses on organizational change and leadership development in the nonprofit sector. She is a senior consultant for Raffa, a national firm working with nonprofit clients to lead efforts in sustainability and succession planning, executive transition and search. Additionally, Jeanie serves as adjunct faculty for the Center for Creative Leadership, a top-ranked, global provider of executive leadership education.
About Jeanie Duncan: Jeanie is President of Raven Consulting Group, a business she founded that focuses on organizational change and leadership development in the nonprofit sector. She is a senior consultant for Raffa, a national firm working with nonprofit clients to lead efforts in sustainability and succession planning, executive transition and search. Additionally, Jeanie serves as adjunct faculty for the Center for Creative Leadership, a top-ranked, global provider of executive leadership education.
