Perspectives on Conflict with Your Boss

Perspectives on Conflict with Your Boss

seeing your way through Conflict With Your Boss

 

In my experience coaching executives transitioning into new leadership roles, they often express challenges in two particular areas: 1) a lack of alignment between the executive and his or her boss on goals and expectations, and 2) the reality of the role and responsibilities is different than was originally anticipated or promised.

It underscores the need to gather as much information as possible, ensure clarity early on (starting with the interview process), and build relationship with your boss to gain common understanding of expectations and priorities in the first 90 days. Without it, conflict can develop and escalate, threatening the success of the new executive’s transition and longer-term tenure.

To establish alignment of goals and expectations from the start, I encourage new executives to set a regular schedule of weekly or bi-weekly check-ins with his or her boss and co-create a leadership agenda in the first 90 days. This document sets forth strategic priorities and actions that the new leader will advance in the first 12 months. (Click here for a leadership agenda worksheet.) Once created, this agenda can serve as a guide for the check-in meetings as well as a tool for performance review at the six- and 12-month points.

In addition to the two common issues noted above, other key sources of challenge and potential conflict include:

  • You and your boss sit at different vantage points and therefore have different perspectives and ways of approaching and responding to situations.
  • A lack of confidence exists between the two of you.
  • There is a mismatch of values, beliefs, ethics, or some other element, such as leadership and management style, philosophy, or personality.

When you experience conflict with the person to whom you report, it presents unique challenges. It’s an area you must address head on and navigate cautiously. Noted by authors Davida Sharpe and Elinor Johnson in Managing Conflict with Your Boss, “As a manager with responsibilities up and down the organizational chain, recognizing and resolving conflicts with your boss may well define to what degree you can effectively contribute to your organization.”

It’s important to know the genesis and circumstances under which conflicts can arise. Understanding the source and context allows you to make a full examination of the conflict so you can work through to a resolution and avoid possible derailment.

Since the early 1980’s, the Center for Creative Leadership has studied executive derailment in North America and Europe. By comparing successful managers to those who derail, CCL has identified poor interpersonal skills (such as the inability to manage conflict) as the reason most often cited forcing executives off track. This top characteristic is followed by failure to hire, build, and lead a team and failure to meet business objectives.

CCL has found that of all the factors important for success within an organization, there are four that your boss is likely to value most: resourcefulness, doing whatever it takes, being a quick study, and decisiveness. If you are experiencing conflict, part of the issue may stem from your failure to meet his/her expectations in one or more of these key areas.

Below are a few questions to examine how well you perform in each of these areas:

Resourcefulness:

  • I think strategically under pressure.
  • I set up complex work systems.
  • I exhibit flexible problem-solving behavior.
  • I work effectively with higher management in dealing with the complexities of the job.

Doing whatever it takes:

  • I show perseverance and focus in the face of obstacles
  • I take charge
  • I learn from others when necessary

Being a quick study:

  • I quickly master new technical and business knowledge.

Decisiveness:

  • I make good decisions under pressure.
  • I make decisions and take action in a timely fashion.
  • I follow through on decisions.

 

Once complete, it can be helpful to share the questions and your responses with your boss and have a conversation around his or her expectations of you in each area.

Finally, in addition to these tools, it can be helpful to gather information on conflict management strategies from others, such as:

  • Seek advice from trusted individuals within your network.
  • Ask for formal and informal feedback.
  • Observe colleagues to glean best practices from others who report (or previously reported) directly to your boss.
  • Consider how you manage and relate to your own direct reports.
  • Look “up” in your organization. Understanding what your boss’s boss expects can tell you a lot about what he or she may expect of you.

________

Sharpe, D., & Johnson, E. (2002). Managing conflict with your boss. Greensboro, NC: Center for Creative Leadership.

 

Also read these related posts:

Bridge the Divide of Conflict With Direct Reports

Team Trust – Critical Yet Rare

Into the Storm: Mastering Team Conflict

A Process for Managing Peer Conflict

 

brick closeAbout Jeanie Duncan: Jeanie is President of Raven Consulting Group, a business she founded that focuses on organizational change and leadership development in the nonprofit sector. She is a senior consultant for Raffa, a national firm working with nonprofit clients to lead efforts in sustainability and succession planning, executive transition and search. Additionally, Jeanie serves as adjunct faculty for the Center for Creative Leadership, a top-ranked, global provider of executive leadership education.

Bridge the Divide of Conflict with Direct Reports

Bridge the Divide of Conflict with Direct Reports

managing conflict bridge

Much of my work focuses on organizations and leaders in transition. Often, individuals are transitioning from a member of an internal team to the leader of that team…or the entire organization.

Many personalities reflect on their transition as significant and sweeping – their worlds changing so quickly they can be left feeling like a stranger in their own land. Almost overnight, the playing field changes from interacting as a peer or direct report of a colleague to that of “the boss.” They’re left out of the informal “hall talk” and invitations to gather after work, where only days before they were a part of the inside loop.

To this individual, they’re still the same person who knows and works with the same people, but the hierarchy dynamic has shifted, and with it, the new leader must adapt and grow in how s/he manages interpersonal relationships as well as the challenges, issues, and conflicts that come with it.

It’s in this context that I share the following tips to acclimate to this new reality:

Developing strong interpersonal relationships:

  • Help your team get to know you in this new role. Exhibit your leadership brand and capabilities in a way that engenders confidence and trust.
  • Go on a ‘listening tour.’ Visit with your colleagues and seek their thoughts and input about priorities and what’s important to them. What do they feel is critical to accomplish in the near term – both for them in their role as well as the team and the organization?
  • Keep in mind that groups often make the best decisions because the group process increases commitment to the decision. Help your direct reports develop analytical skills by including them in decision making.
  • Develop a culture of experimentation and innovation. Let your people know it’s safe to try new things that support problem solving and excellence…and that you’ll support them.
  • Share your vision and leadership agenda with your direct reports and help them see their role in forwarding those priorities. Work to advance the scope of work collectively and celebrate success together along the way.
  • Support your team in times of change and transition. If you’re new in your leadership role – now leading people who previously were your peers – this change can be unsettling to those around you. Fear and loss play a large role in resistance to change. Individuals wonder how the adjustment will directly impact them, for example: how will you relate to them differently through this role change and how might their priorities and responsibilities change. Listen and acknowledge those feelings. Often these issues and anxiety arise from a lack of information.


Managing conflict with direct reports:

  • Know your part in the conflict: Conflict has multiple sides. Be sure to take ownership of your part in the conflict, and get a clear picture of how you might be contributing. A 360 assessment might be a helpful tool in gathering information to offer insight into your behavior and performance.
  • Clarify objectives and expectations: Make sure you’ve made your objectives clear to your direct reports and that you communicate the goal when starting new initiatives. Team members need to know their tasks, the final objectives, and how success will be measured. Have them describe their understanding to confirm alignment. Many performance problems that spark conflict between managers and their team most commonly stem from a misunderstanding of expectations.
  • Consider solutions other than your own: Be flexible and think beyond your perspective. View the world through the eyes of your direct reports and try to understand and incorporate their ideas and points of view.
  • Know your emotional triggers: All of us have emotional triggers that can result in behavior that creates conflict. Know what sets you off and pay attention to your physical cues such as a rapid heartbeat or a rise in body temperature. Practice techniques to bring these reactions into check and temper your response.
  • Move quickly to resolve issues: It’s a natural human tendency to avoid conflict. Be willing to confront situations head on and have ‘courageous conversations’ to develop common ground, arrive at a solution that works for all, and prevent matters from simmering and later erupting into conflict.
  • Prepare a strategy for managing the situation: Consider how you establish trust with your direct reports so your communication can be honest and effective and be delivered with respect and empathy. Before engaging in the actual encounter to resolve conflict, reflect on your plan for the interaction and anticipate questions and objections.

 

Different points of view, values, and ways of working are sure to spark conflict. It’s simply inevitable…and an experience that successful leaders must learn to address. The special relationship between managers and direct reports requires all involved to practice active listening, develop an understanding of multiple perspectives, and possess a willingness to reframe points of view. A focus on behavior and openness to new solutions will go a long way toward building stronger interpersonal relationships and trust, and resolving conflict along the way.

________

Popejoy, B., & McManigle, B.J. (2002). Managing conflict with direct reports. Greensboro, NC: Center for Creative Leadership.

 

Also read these related posts:

Perspectives on Conflict with Your Boss

Team Trust – Critical Yet Rare

Into the Storm: Mastering Team Conflict

A Process for Managing Peer Conflict

 

about-leadershipAbout Jeanie Duncan: Jeanie is President of Raven Consulting Group, a business she founded that focuses on organizational change and leadership development in the nonprofit sector. She is a senior consultant for Raffa, a national firm working with nonprofit clients to lead efforts in sustainability and succession planning, executive transition and search. Additionally, Jeanie serves as adjunct faculty for the Center for Creative Leadership, a top-ranked, global provider of executive leadership education.