Dad’s (half) Dozen

Dad’s (half) Dozen

My dad was a gentle giant – not physically, but figuratively speaking in his heart, spirit, and all-around “way.” There was nothing he couldn’t do. I lost him to Alzheimer’s a couple of years ago. It’s such a dreadful disease – slowly chipping away at your loved one until they’re only a shell of who they once were. You’re stuck grieving your loved one while they’re still living. In his slow ten-year fade, we found joy in going on long walks where we’d talk about all the things. I’d seek his business advice, and he would teach me through his stories.

My mom and dad were business owners – both farming and a retail jewelry business. They had a jewelry store in the city, and later moved it into our home, where dad designed and created custom fine jewelry, while mom took care of customers and the finances. I still smile today thinking about how these two enterprises couldn’t be more different from one another, yet they so perfectly reflected who he was: artist, builder, nature lover, enterpriser. He’d go from wrangling cows and horses by day to delivering his beautiful and intricate jewelry designs for customers in the evenings.

I was the youngest of three kids, and we all worked in the businesses, from chores of taking care of the farm animals and the property to stringing pearl necklaces and sorting gemstones. Like most kids, I didn’t realize it then, but I was absorbing so many lessons and shaping qualities that would later serve me well.

It’s in starting and running my own business that I think of my dad most today and feel his influence. He served as a huge impetus. I could write so much about him, but I’ll stick with my “Dad’s (half) Dozen” for now. It’s these qualities that made him such a beautiful human being, encouraging mentor, and humble, effective leader…for which I’m so grateful.

Dad’s (half) Dozen

  1. Possibility: The quote, “If you can dream it, you can do it” is attributed to Walt Disney, but it could just as easily be my dad. The man knew no limitations and believed that anything was possible. He started with nothing (in fact less than nothing) and built businesses, made an abundant life for his family, and taught us that we could do the same.
  2. Creativity: I so appreciate and value the creative human being my dad was – jewelry designer, landscape architect, master gardener, home and barn builder, and more. If he saw something he wanted or something he desired for his family, he went after it, most always doing the design and work himself.
  3. Knowledge: Building on his creativity and infinite resourcefulness, if there was something he wanted and didn’t know how to do it, he learned how and made it happen. It seemed like there was nothing he couldn’t do. I remember the time he put in a lake on our farm. A natural stream ran through our property, and he’d always wanted a lake. So, he drew up the plans for it, bought a backhoe and bulldozer, built it, then sold the equipment for more than he paid for it. And best of all, he stocked it with bass, brim, and catfish which made for hours of fun fishing from our paddleboat. My dad…
  4. Perseverance and Grit: Dad was ambitious and enterprising and knew that success came with pure hard (and smart) work and the ability to stick with it through all the ups and downs. I couple these two because it makes me think of Angela Duckworth’s book, “Grit: the power of passion and perseverance. It describes my dad to a “T.” In it, she defines the key characteristics of courage, conscientiousness, long-term goals and endurance, resilience, and excellence. Ok…if I could only have one of dad’s traits, it might be this one!
  5. Relationships: In life and work, my parents were all about relationships. “We do business with those who do business with us,” they would often say. They built a great following of customers with this mantra and generously cultivated loyalty. On our farm, we had a small but prolific orchard of pecan, apple, and peach trees, a vegetable garden, and several dozen rose bushes. Every week, dad would harvest whatever was in season, arrange vases and gift bags, and make their “Friday rounds” delivering gifts to clients, customers, and vendors. He was famous for it!
  6. Courage: One of my favorite quotes comes from John Wayne, who was adored by my father, “Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway.” This should have been on display in dad’s store; I remember him most for this kind of boldness. I’m sure he had plenty of doubts and was even terrified at times, but he did all the work, he trusted, and took the leap. And without ever saying a word, he taught me how to do the same.

Hi, I’m Jeanie Duncan. I work with individuals and organizations as a transformation partner to help them unlock their Truth, discover authentic value, and create meaningful impact in the world. I believe when we are truly aligned with our purpose, we can live and perform at our highest potential. With over 25 years of experience as an executive, CEO, consultant, and coach, I offer strategic, knowledgeable, and experienced guidance for those who are ready to take the courageous leap toward true transformation. 

Learning Agility and Embracing the Suck

Learning Agility and Embracing the Suck

 

“Embracing the suck” is part of the path to mastering anything new says social scientist, Brene Brown.

These days, my “new” is learning to write the stories of the amazing, courageous women I’ve interviewed for my book…I’m learning to be a storyteller, essentially. And it’s hard!

It’s hard because

  • I feel responsible for someone’s story. I want to write it in such a way that I honor and convey the core essence of their narrative. I want my reader to really see the women and their experience.
  • I’m so accustomed to business writing, which is all about keeping the message short, direct, and to the point. Storytelling requires me to develop a style of expounding, elaborating, and being more colorful and emotive in my writing.
  • I’m working to find the balance of staying focused and on point, yet sharing enough that my reader is drawn in, as if riding a wave beside my “character,” following the rise and fall of the story’s build, the peak, and the close.

The work is stretching and challenging me in new ways. The difficulty persists, but so do I. I show up even when I don’t feel creative. I make myself write – “just get words on the paper,” I tell myself, “and the flow will come.” I feel myself growing, not only in my ability to write the stories, but also in how I tell stories to others. I’m learning about the art and delivery.

This path, and sometimes anguish, of learning something new is what I refer to as The Learning Curve. I have the (ahem) joy of being in it right now!

The Learning Curve

Whenever we come up on a learning opportunity, we have a choice of two ways to go:

  1. We can decide to go for it, or
  2. We can choose to stay right where we are…“the comfort zone”

If we choose to go for it, we’re sure to have some new muscle building with a likely series of trying the new thing and failing. It’s like learning to ride a bike as a kid and taking the training wheels off for the first time. We’re gonna fall – probably over and over and over again. Attempting and failing is hard, it’s embarrassing, it…sucks. It makes us want to quit!

If we decide instead to stay the course of where we are, it’s easy. We’re comfortable. It feels good. In other words, we can “do it in our sleep.” But we also miss out on learning new things, opening up possibility, and even discovering something we might love or be really good at, that we had no idea of before.

Anytime I come up on something new – it could be a job opportunity, realizing I need to develop a skill, or fixing something in my house ­– I think about The Learning Curve and weigh my options: Do I really want to do this? Is it worth it? What’s the worst-case scenario?

Sometimes I decide not to take on the challenge, and I pass on the potential promotion, delegate the task, or call that plumber. That can feel really good – and necessary. But sometimes I decide to step up, stretch myself, and I go for it, I take the leap, I DIY it. And there’s a thrill in that too. Even though it brings pain with it, which it is certain to do!

What new thing are you learning these days? How’s it going?

 



Hi, I’m Jeanie Duncan. I work with individuals and organizations as a transformation partner to help them unlock their Truth, discover authentic value, and create meaningful impact in the world. I believe when we are truly aligned with our purpose, we can live and perform at our highest potential. With over 25 years of experience as an executive, CEO, consultant, coach, and writer, I offer strategic, knowledgeable, and experienced guidance for those who are ready to take the courageous leap toward true transformation.