Dad’s (half) Dozen

Dad’s (half) Dozen

My dad was a gentle giant – not physically, but figuratively speaking in his heart, spirit, and all-around “way.” There was nothing he couldn’t do. I lost him to Alzheimer’s a couple of years ago. It’s such a dreadful disease – slowly chipping away at your loved one until they’re only a shell of who they once were. You’re stuck grieving your loved one while they’re still living. In his slow ten-year fade, we found joy in going on long walks where we’d talk about all the things. I’d seek his business advice, and he would teach me through his stories.

My mom and dad were business owners – both farming and a retail jewelry business. They had a jewelry store in the city, and later moved it into our home, where dad designed and created custom fine jewelry, while mom took care of customers and the finances. I still smile today thinking about how these two enterprises couldn’t be more different from one another, yet they so perfectly reflected who he was: artist, builder, nature lover, enterpriser. He’d go from wrangling cows and horses by day to delivering his beautiful and intricate jewelry designs for customers in the evenings.

I was the youngest of three kids, and we all worked in the businesses, from chores of taking care of the farm animals and the property to stringing pearl necklaces and sorting gemstones. Like most kids, I didn’t realize it then, but I was absorbing so many lessons and shaping qualities that would later serve me well.

It’s in starting and running my own business that I think of my dad most today and feel his influence. He served as a huge impetus. I could write so much about him, but I’ll stick with my “Dad’s (half) Dozen” for now. It’s these qualities that made him such a beautiful human being, encouraging mentor, and humble, effective leader…for which I’m so grateful.

Dad’s (half) Dozen

  1. Possibility: The quote, “If you can dream it, you can do it” is attributed to Walt Disney, but it could just as easily be my dad. The man knew no limitations and believed that anything was possible. He started with nothing (in fact less than nothing) and built businesses, made an abundant life for his family, and taught us that we could do the same.
  2. Creativity: I so appreciate and value the creative human being my dad was – jewelry designer, landscape architect, master gardener, home and barn builder, and more. If he saw something he wanted or something he desired for his family, he went after it, most always doing the design and work himself.
  3. Knowledge: Building on his creativity and infinite resourcefulness, if there was something he wanted and didn’t know how to do it, he learned how and made it happen. It seemed like there was nothing he couldn’t do. I remember the time he put in a lake on our farm. A natural stream ran through our property, and he’d always wanted a lake. So, he drew up the plans for it, bought a backhoe and bulldozer, built it, then sold the equipment for more than he paid for it. And best of all, he stocked it with bass, brim, and catfish which made for hours of fun fishing from our paddleboat. My dad…
  4. Perseverance and Grit: Dad was ambitious and enterprising and knew that success came with pure hard (and smart) work and the ability to stick with it through all the ups and downs. I couple these two because it makes me think of Angela Duckworth’s book, “Grit: the power of passion and perseverance. It describes my dad to a “T.” In it, she defines the key characteristics of courage, conscientiousness, long-term goals and endurance, resilience, and excellence. Ok…if I could only have one of dad’s traits, it might be this one!
  5. Relationships: In life and work, my parents were all about relationships. “We do business with those who do business with us,” they would often say. They built a great following of customers with this mantra and generously cultivated loyalty. On our farm, we had a small but prolific orchard of pecan, apple, and peach trees, a vegetable garden, and several dozen rose bushes. Every week, dad would harvest whatever was in season, arrange vases and gift bags, and make their “Friday rounds” delivering gifts to clients, customers, and vendors. He was famous for it!
  6. Courage: One of my favorite quotes comes from John Wayne, who was adored by my father, “Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway.” This should have been on display in dad’s store; I remember him most for this kind of boldness. I’m sure he had plenty of doubts and was even terrified at times, but he did all the work, he trusted, and took the leap. And without ever saying a word, he taught me how to do the same.

Hi, I’m Jeanie Duncan. I work with individuals and organizations as a transformation partner to help them unlock their Truth, discover authentic value, and create meaningful impact in the world. I believe when we are truly aligned with our purpose, we can live and perform at our highest potential. With over 25 years of experience as an executive, CEO, consultant, and coach, I offer strategic, knowledgeable, and experienced guidance for those who are ready to take the courageous leap toward true transformation. 

On Turning 10

On Turning 10

2021 marks the 10-year anniversary for my business, and I’m feeling such a sense of gratitude and celebration with this milestone.

Reaching double digits

There’s something about being in business for a decade that makes me feel real and legit. Not in the way of “I need someone or something to make me feel legitimate,” but rather legitimacy that’s derived from deep satisfaction of sustaining and thriving doing the work I most love to do with the clients I love working with. I get to do this! …on my own terms

I appreciate the perspective of Tim Ferris, author of “The 4-Hour Workweek.” He offers that living the dream isn’t about waiting to retire to live the life you want to live, but instead, consider: What work would you do if you could never retire? What life would you live if retirement wasn’t an option?  

My answer? Exactly the work and life I’m living right now.

What I’m proudest of

As my years as a business owner add up, I know that I’m living my purpose. I wake up every day feeling honored that I get to help organizations and their leaders know and live theirs. I’ve intentionally designed a business model with services that get to the core of a client’s purpose, mission, and values, and help them deploy their gifts in the world. Idyllic? Maybe. And what I know for sure…it’s impactful beyond measure.

Heaps of gratitude

I could fill countless gratitude journals about the experience of business ownership and how it feeds my soul. For starters, I’m most grateful for…      

  • Unending support from friends and family.
  • Awesome clients from whom I learn so much and who entrust me as their partner.
  • Affiliations and partnerships with organizations I respect and enjoy working with.
  • Learning more about who I am and the imprint I most want to have in the world.    
  • Recognizing the abundance of the universe – there’s a stream that constantly provides (even when lean), and I learn to trust walk and know I’m held by this power and light.
  • Generosity and a community of peer colleagues around the world.

Savoring the celebration

Turning 10 is a big awesome deal! I’m excited to relish in it and share some of the peak moments with you here on my blog – successes, failures, lessons learned, and stories of my rock star clients  Stay tuned!


Hi, I’m Jeanie Duncan. I work with individuals and organizations as a transformation partner to help them unlock their Truth, discover authentic value, and create meaningful impact in the world. I believe when we are truly aligned with our purpose, we can live and perform at our highest potential. With over 25 years of experience as an executive, CEO, consultant, and coach, I offer strategic, knowledgeable, and experienced guidance for those who are ready to take the courageous leap toward true transformation. 

If I Had One Wish

If I Had One Wish

…I would wish for organizations and leaders everywhere to seek to know their truth and be bold and courageous enough to live it.

I’ve witnessed the power of “knowing and living your truth” both in my own life experiences as well as with my clients in theirs. To me, it’s the difference between living an ordinary versus an extraordinary life. Between sleep walking through your life versus tapping into your most full, amazing self and unleashing your gifts in the world.

My “one wish” reflects the essence of how I most want to live my life and help others live theirs. I like the image of water and stepping stones to describe it.

Water represents two things as a constant…

Presence: You can’t seek to know and live your truth if you’re not paying attention. If you’re caught up in all the stuff of life and not noticing, you’re gonna miss it. And I get it, lives are full. Reeeally full. The aim is to “do” your rich, robust life while slowing the pace enough to “be” and focus your attention. It’s both challenging and possible, requiring some serious, conscious choice making, not to mention loads of courage.

Knowing and Loving Yourself: You’ve got to care…about you. YOU have to matter to you. Ground zero in knowing yourself and knowing your truth is first loving yourself (and for organizations, it’s about loving the “entity” as a living breathing organism…its people, mission, purpose, its reason for being).

Next, the stones represent…

a progression of steps I believe are present on the pathway to knowing and ultimately living your truth – what I call the “truth journey.”

  • Presenting moment: First, there’s a trigger – an event or situation that swings a person’s or an organization’s pendulum to either dissonance (things like exhaustion, burn-out, hopelessness, crisis, failure, conflict) or resonance (imagine ease, energy, joy, excitement, thriving). You have this experience, and your emotions get stirred, often strongly. Accompanying this moment, is an internal sensation – I’ve experienced it as unsettledness, restlessness, a stirring, or insatiable yearning. And like a nagging 3-year-old, it just won’t go away until I address it head on.
  • Stillness: Regardless of whether the experience is positive or negative, it’s important to stop and “sit with it.” If it’s particularly challenging, our tendency is to push it away, busy ourselves, or pretend altogether that it doesn’t exist. Resist the urge! It sounds counterintuitive to say “C’mon! Pull up a chair and sit with that misery for a while!” But it really is important to do just that – to stop, get quiet, be with what you’re sensing and thinking, and reflect, “What is this ‘thing’ trying to communicate to me? What knowledge and information can I get from it?”
  • Clarity: In this pause and inquiry of the stillness, the answers could come quickly, almost instantly, or it could take days, weeks, months, even. I promise, there’ll come a time of greater clarity when the knowing appears – it might arrive with gusto like an ah-ha or break through, or it can come almost unnoticed as the slightest movement like a cloud floating by. You’ll know it when you sense a shift inside you – the dots connect, suddenly things make sense, or you might feel an ease, a lightness, or a rise in your energy.
  • Choice: Next comes the most pivotal point in the process – you arrive at a choice point. Let’s say you’ve been frustrated in your job for a while. You haven’t been happy for a long time, maybe never. You’re burned out, exhausted, and feeling empty. Then comes the “event” that causes you to burst, “I’ve had it! I’m done!” And here you are…hello choice. You start contemplating your situation and exploring options. Often what happens here is we do what’s easy and take the path of least resistance: we stay, we tolerate, we settle, we endure. It’s here that I stand the firmest (and most compassionate) with my clients, because I can see what they can’t – their gifts, potential, resources, and courage (even if only a glimmer). I help them consider choices that empower, harness their strengths, and connect them to their passion.
  • Action: In my opinion, the most important consideration here is that your actions align with your values and what most fulfills you. One of the perils that gets in the way of action is living in the place of “should.” With the job example above…“I should stay. After all, people are counting on me, proving my loyalty is important, it might get better…” If you’re an organization considering these steps, it might sound like “We should continue this program. We’ve been delivering it for 20 years, and a lot of people count on us. The program may be making little revenue and have ‘run its course,’ but there would be a public outcry if we stopped.” To take action, first tune into your “why,” your purpose, to what calls to you and lights you up. From there, make your plan and work your plan.
  • Live: Once in action, live fully into the choice you’ve made and the path forward…no second guessing, no wondering if you did the right thing. Bravely, boldly go! As an individual, of course there’ll be personal check-ins, and you’ll continue to reflect and refine your path forward. As an organization, there will be assessment, evaluation, and measuring progress. That’s simply being smart and responsible. Lastly, remember that you are surrounded with resources you can leverage wisely: people, time, money, as well as practices like self-care, meditation, good nutrition, and fitness.

Hi, I’m Jeanie Duncan. I work with individuals and organizations as a transformation partner to help them unlock their Truth, discover authentic value, and create meaningful impact in the world. I believe when we are truly aligned with our purpose, we can live and perform at our highest potential. With over 25 years of experience as an executive, CEO, consultant, and coach, I offer strategic, knowledgeable, and experienced guidance for those who are ready to take the courageous leap toward true transformation. 

 

Learning Agility and Embracing the Suck

Learning Agility and Embracing the Suck

 

“Embracing the suck” is part of the path to mastering anything new says social scientist, Brene Brown.

These days, my “new” is learning to write the stories of the amazing, courageous women I’ve interviewed for my book…I’m learning to be a storyteller, essentially. And it’s hard!

It’s hard because

  • I feel responsible for someone’s story. I want to write it in such a way that I honor and convey the core essence of their narrative. I want my reader to really see the women and their experience.
  • I’m so accustomed to business writing, which is all about keeping the message short, direct, and to the point. Storytelling requires me to develop a style of expounding, elaborating, and being more colorful and emotive in my writing.
  • I’m working to find the balance of staying focused and on point, yet sharing enough that my reader is drawn in, as if riding a wave beside my “character,” following the rise and fall of the story’s build, the peak, and the close.

The work is stretching and challenging me in new ways. The difficulty persists, but so do I. I show up even when I don’t feel creative. I make myself write – “just get words on the paper,” I tell myself, “and the flow will come.” I feel myself growing, not only in my ability to write the stories, but also in how I tell stories to others. I’m learning about the art and delivery.

This path, and sometimes anguish, of learning something new is what I refer to as The Learning Curve. I have the (ahem) joy of being in it right now!

The Learning Curve

Whenever we come up on a learning opportunity, we have a choice of two ways to go:

  1. We can decide to go for it, or
  2. We can choose to stay right where we are…“the comfort zone”

If we choose to go for it, we’re sure to have some new muscle building with a likely series of trying the new thing and failing. It’s like learning to ride a bike as a kid and taking the training wheels off for the first time. We’re gonna fall – probably over and over and over again. Attempting and failing is hard, it’s embarrassing, it…sucks. It makes us want to quit!

If we decide instead to stay the course of where we are, it’s easy. We’re comfortable. It feels good. In other words, we can “do it in our sleep.” But we also miss out on learning new things, opening up possibility, and even discovering something we might love or be really good at, that we had no idea of before.

Anytime I come up on something new – it could be a job opportunity, realizing I need to develop a skill, or fixing something in my house ­– I think about The Learning Curve and weigh my options: Do I really want to do this? Is it worth it? What’s the worst-case scenario?

Sometimes I decide not to take on the challenge, and I pass on the potential promotion, delegate the task, or call that plumber. That can feel really good – and necessary. But sometimes I decide to step up, stretch myself, and I go for it, I take the leap, I DIY it. And there’s a thrill in that too. Even though it brings pain with it, which it is certain to do!

What new thing are you learning these days? How’s it going?

 



Hi, I’m Jeanie Duncan. I work with individuals and organizations as a transformation partner to help them unlock their Truth, discover authentic value, and create meaningful impact in the world. I believe when we are truly aligned with our purpose, we can live and perform at our highest potential. With over 25 years of experience as an executive, CEO, consultant, coach, and writer, I offer strategic, knowledgeable, and experienced guidance for those who are ready to take the courageous leap toward true transformation. 

 

 

 

Leading Wholeheartedly

Leading Wholeheartedly

A few weeks ago, I watched Biden and Harris take office and was especially struck by a comment in Biden’s inaugural address, “Take a measure of me and my heart. If you still disagree, so be it. That’s democracy. That’s America. The right to dissent peaceably within the guardrails of our republic is perhaps our nation’s greatest strength.”

“Take a measure of me and my heart.”

His words stunned me. First because it feels so good to have leadership again. And second, because it feels so good to have leadership with heart. I believe we do.

Our world needs more leadership with heart. It’s what I’ve come to call “wholehearted leadership,” to borrow one of Brene Brown’s coined phrases. It was in reading her book, “Gifts of Imperfection,” that I first heard that phrase ten years ago. I strive to live it in my work and life. And I look for it in others. It’s so deeply satisfying and fulfilling to see it in action…

  • Cultivate authenticity and let go of what other people think
  • Cultivate self-compassion and let go of perfectionism
  • Cultivate our resilient spirit and let go of numbing and powerlessness
  • Cultivate gratitude and joy and let go of scarcity and fear of the dark
  • Cultivate intuition and faith and let go of the need for certainty
  • Cultivate creativity and let go of comparison
  • Cultivate play and rest and let go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth
  • Cultivate calm and stillness and let go of anxiety as a lifestyle
  • Cultivate meaningful work and let go of self-doubt and “supposed to”
  • Cultivate laughter, song, and dance and let go of “cool” and always in control

– Brene Brown’s 10 Guideposts for Wholehearted Living

These affirmations hang in my office as a reminder of how I want to love, live, and lead in the world. It’s about showing up with vulnerability – owning who you are and letting others see you. It only took me a few decades to learn this…and it’s a forever journey. It requires great intentionality, practice, and loads of courage…Every. Single. Day.

I remember the first time I learned about vulnerability as a leader. I was 30 years old and in a leadership development program where I had been paired with an executive coach. Part of her guidance encouraged me to become more vulnerable as a leader. I had an instant, visceral reaction to her words. I cringed, remembering my mom and what she taught me as a young girl. I told my coach, “My mama did NOT teach me to be vulnerable!”

I imagined sitting across from my mom and sharing with her what I learned at leadership school. I could see her plain as day…sitting across from me, arms tightly crossed, and giving me a furrowed, disapproving stare. Growing up in my home, any thoughts of vulnerability were considered weak, and I was taught to show anything but that:

Be strong!

Never let ‘em see you sweat (or cry)

Hold your cards close to the vest

I don’t think either of my parents intended this, but what they taught me around vulnerability – to guard against it – caused me to show up as a leader rigid, aloof, and less approachable. It took me nearly two decades to undo.

I see this same resolve in leaders I coach today, especially female leaders. To get ahead, we develop armor…a shell to protect us, we put forth an image of steel, as in “I have this under control” and “I’ve got it all together.” Inside we may be quaking, but the external world will never know it. We take it own, carry the load, and ‘grin and bear it.’  Years and decades pass. We become someone we don’t know anymore….or worse, someone we don’t even like.

“Take a measure of me and my heart,” Biden says.

This is a reminder to us all to put down our armor, come out from behind our shields, open our hearts and let others see our humanity.

 


Hi, I’m Jeanie Duncan. I work with individuals and organizations as a transformation partner to help them unlock their Truth, discover authentic value, and create meaningful impact in the world. I believe when we are truly aligned with our purpose, we can live and perform at our highest potential. With over 25 years of experience as an executive, CEO, consultant, coach, and writer, I offer strategic, knowledgeable, and experienced guidance for those who are ready to take the courageous leap toward true transformation.