Building Your Resiliency Muscle

Building Your Resiliency Muscle

tree growing on rockOur lives are filled with high levels of pressure and complexity. We’re faced with mounting responsibility, competing priorities, and multiple deadlines, from all areas of our life – work, family, and community. Some seem to manage it all with ease, exhibiting confidence and an outward sense of calm, while others appear anxious and visibly frustrated at every turn.

So, why are some people able to handle this level of ‘turbulence’ better than others? I believe it’s resilience – a kind of ingenuity and elasticity ­– where we tap into our strengths and resources and spring back. And it’s not something that comes instinctively or easily, but rather it evolves with mindfulness and practice over time.

I think of organizational leaders I know as well as families, and others in relationships – if you’re not resilient, you will struggle in fast-paced, challenging, and ambiguous situations. If you’re easily stressed and irritated you won’t perform at your best, your health may decline, and your relationships will suffer. You might think of it as personal sustainability training. The better equipped you are at handling these situations and bouncing back, the better you’ll be at sustaining your energy, enthusiasm, and passion over the long-term.

There are many actions you can take to help build resiliency. Consider the following as well as ideas of your own. Get creative and have fun with it!

Mental/Emotional

–       Practice mindfulness in your day-to-day life. The more we practice being in the moment, the better able we are to show up fully for whatever comes our way.

–       Come up with a mantra, a brief slogan or statement of your intentions, so that you can recall it when needed.

–       Keep a collection of inspiring quotes that have meaning for you. Categorize by topic and refer to them based on your situation. Here’s a good one: “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” – Nelson Mandela.

–       Listen to some of your favorite music to help shift and ignite your energy and mindset.

–       Take several deep, cleansing breaths. Breathing in and out in an intentional, invigorating way can help you center, reset, and recharge.

Physical

–       Take action. When you feel overwhelmed, it can help to break a large task or project down into smaller pieces and take a concrete step forward to make progress or improve the situation.

–       Engage your physical strength through things like working out at a gym, going for a walk in nature, or attending a yoga class. Nothing helps me more than a long trail run in the woods – I love the smells, sounds, and physical endurance of running for an hour or more.

–       If you have a meeting at work, ask your colleague(s) to go for a walking meeting. The movement helps open up thoughts and ideas.

–       Pay attention to your nutrition and eating habits. Eat well to “fuel” yourself adequately for optimum performance.

–       Get plenty of rest and down time. Taking a brief “time-out,” such as a long lunch or an afternoon off can offer just the reset we need. One of my favorites is visiting an art gallery in between meetings or after work.

Spiritual

–       Engage in a spiritual and/or religious practice such as meditation or prayer. Taking the time to get quiet and turn your attention inward can reconnect you with what feels sacred and grounding. Sometimes I’ll steal away brief moments for a quick meditation when stuck in traffic, at a stoplight, or while waiting in line. It reframes a frustrating moment into a Zen moment. Try it sometime!

–       Write down the core of your spiritual values and beliefs. Then write a spiritual reminder (a short phrase representing your beliefs, meaning, and purpose of life) that can help you recall your beliefs when facing adversity.

–       Read inspirational materials as a way of taking in quick doses of positivity (check out sites like DailyOM.com and dailygood.org). I subscribe to a couple of these and enjoy reading them as I start my day.

Social

–       Build a diverse and broad network including personal friends, work colleagues, faith and community connections. Reach out and engage regularly; you’ll be amazed at what transpires from the interaction.

–       Make connections with other individuals and groups, such as participating in a club or small group activity.

–       Boost the resiliency of someone else. Sometimes the best way to reconnect with our own strength is to support someone else with care and encouragement.

–       Think of someone you know who exudes resiliency. It can help to access an example as we attempt to connect with our own inner strength. Personally, I have a couple of women business owners that I get together with frequently and seek their wisdom and insight on all kinds of issues and challenges.

–       Develop your own personal ‘board of directors’ – people that positively influence and support you.

 

What are some of your ideas and actions for practicing resiliency?

 

Read other related blog posts:

10 Ways to Build Resilience 

 

about-leadershipAbout Jeanie Duncan: Jeanie is President of Raven Consulting Group, a business she founded that focuses on organizational change and leadership development in the nonprofit sector. She is a senior consultant for Raffa, a national firm working with nonprofit clients to lead efforts in sustainability and succession planning, executive transition and search. Additionally, Jeanie serves as adjunct faculty for the Center for Creative Leadership, a top-ranked, global provider of executive leadership education.
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Act As If

Act As If

Act As If...

A few years ago while conducting research around starting my own business, I ran across a book I really enjoyed called “Birthing the Elephant” by Karin Abarbanel and Bruce Freeman. From it, came a favorite quote of mine: “Act as if.”

Presented in the context of being an entrepreneur, the short phrase expresses the concept of viewing yourself in a new way and aligning your actions and the way you communicate to reflect this new ‘brand’ and self image. “Actions change attitudes, motions change emotions, and movements change moods. You might not be able to change your thoughts and your feelings, but you can change your actions. Your actions can change your feelings; your actions can change your thoughts. You can act differently than you feel.”

The day I read page 121 and the words “act as if” is the day I decided to begin my business. For several months, I had conducted research around launching a new venture, secured necessary resources, and written a business plan. On paper, it looked great, and when I read the words “act as if,” I thought “what am I waiting for?” It’s interesting when you’re starting something from scratch. There’s a moment when you literally must flip the switch. So I did.

The quote “act as if” hit home for me. In that moment, I took on the mantle of entrepreneur and business owner – I walked as if, ate as if, slept as if…I went about my day as if this is completely who I am, even though early on there were many days where it felt more like a story than reality. I lived this new brand as if everything in my life up to this moment had prepared me for this.

It’s three years later and – through much hard work and many challenges, along with steady progress and great wins – my business is flourishing.

Today, in my coaching and consulting practice, I encourage individuals, teams, and organizations to “act as if” with their vision, mission, and plan. I encourage people and organizations to dream and imagine their most vibrant future. And with that, I challenge them to act as if they’re already there. After all, our thoughts and actions create our reality. We manifest what we most desire and focus on.

My hope is that this mantra will inspire my clients and those I serve as much as it has me. And that they will overcome the one thing that holds most of us back: the belief that we must wait until we know who we are or until we craft the perfect plan before we even get started. Just remember, you’re more ready than you think you are. Get started now.

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.

~ William James

Authenticity: Knowing Yourself and Letting Yourself be Seen

Authenticity: Knowing Yourself and Letting Yourself be Seen

authenticAuthenticity is not something we have or don’t have. It’s something we practice – a conscious choice each day of how we want to live, show up, and be real in who we are. It’s about letting our true selves be seen. And for me, it can feel resonant, exhilarating, and terrifying all at once.

When I think about authenticity, I think about how we are drawn to deeply real people. In my work as a leadership development educator and facilitator, I often see this in the classroom. Just the other day, my co-facilitator was delivering a part of our program on organization change. He shared a personal story about leading a major change initiative for an international Fortune 100 company. As the group listened, I imagined that some fully expected an account of how well it went – of how he did all the right things, executed critical steps in perfect text-book form, and everyone came along with the change.

While some things did go well, much of what he shared was about the missteps…of what went wrong, what he wish he’d done differently, and what he learned from the complex navigation of change across a large global company with competing divisions, goals, and priorities.

What I witnessed in our participants was a building in the level of engagement, belief, and trust. This guy could have told his story so differently. He could have pointed out the positives and insulated himself and his leadership by jumping over the tough spots and failures. To do so would have created a divide with the participants and resulted in a missed opportunity to connect and exhibit vulnerability.

Before writing this post, I reviewed in my mind the characteristics I’ve observed in the most authentic people I’ve met. Most of the qualities come directly from being rather than doing. Here’s my list:

  • Knowing yourself and being comfortable in your own skin
  • Being vulnerable – Letting go of what people think and embracing who you are
  • Having courage – Being willing to move out of your comfort zone, take risks, and play it unsafe
  • A willingness to admit to and learn from failure
  • Being honest – Choosing being real over being liked
  • Compassion
  • Gratitude
  • Expressing your own creativity

What characteristics make your authenticity list? How do you recognize if you are accessing your own authenticity?

“To be nobody-but-yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody-but-yourself means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight – and never stop fighting.” E. E. Cummings

 

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Truing Your Leadership Competencies

Truing Your Leadership Competencies

In my latest blog post (“Leading with Compassion and Authenticity,” February 18) I wrote about a favorite leadership book, “Leading with Authenticity in Times of Transition” by Kerry Bunker and Michael Wakefield. As a continuation of that post, I want to share the specific leadership competencies highlighted in the text that are critical for leaders navigating the complex challenges of transition. These competencies are presented as pairs (representing both the structural and people side) and graphically displayed as a wheel to demonstrate their interrelatedness and the need for balance.

Transition Leadership Wheel copy

Bunker and Wakefield use the image of a bicycle wheel to describe the leadership competencies, reflecting that each spoke needs to be tightened or loosened to the right tension. Otherwise, there will be strain on the other spokes, pulling the wheel out of alignment. Six spokes represent the structural competencies, and six the people-related competencies. If a leader devotes an overabundance of energy to any one competency, s/he runs the risk of skewing the opposite and pushing the wheel out of true, creating undue strain on the trust needed to lead effectively. The key is to find appropriate ways to work with both sides that are authentic to the leader and avoid swinging dramatically from one side to the other.

I find this resource very helpful in conceptualizing the core elements important to navigating change and transition as well as the need for balance among them. Most leaders are quite skilled at dealing with change and solving problems from the structural side of leadership – the plan, rationale, data, and measurements. Posing a much greater challenge for most is connecting to the people side of change – the emotions, discomfort, letting go, and rebuilding. Central to it all is trust, without which success in transition cannot exist.

Consider this example: A nonprofit arts organization had recently undergone a strategic planning process that included extensive community input data gathering. This led to a reshaping of priorities and key areas of focus for the organization, which re-defined its core lines of business. As a result, the organization ceased two primary areas of its operation. From this redefining, the organization aligned its leadership, resources, business strategy, and culture to support this new model. Among other things, the action led to a redesign and reduction in both board and staff leadership. By any measure, this was substantial change to this agency.

A true test for the organization was how it dealt with the more emotional side of the human elements of transition. While they handled the mechanics of the change well: strategy, planning, gathering community input, and defining core areas of focus and lines of business, the organization fell short in leading the more human dynamics of the transition: allowing for time and space for emotional processing, feeling discomfort, dealing with resistance, and appreciating differences in how people cope with change and taking those perspectives into account.

I see this frequently with the organizations and executives with whom I work. Strategic planning processes like these take a lot of time, effort, and energy. When a plan is done, it’s easy to feel like you’ve reached the finish line. It’s much harder to realize you’re only half or two-thirds finished, and that a critical component of your work is yet to be done – addressing the more sensitive people issues and empowering a team to embrace the change and help shape and lead the future.

As Bunker and Wakefield note, “change initiatives often break down because people stall somewhere during the transition.” Ignoring or falling short in this area will greatly impact the overall success of a transition. With the organization example above, the ‘less than ideal’ handling of the human elements created a turbulence that was felt for years after. These missteps are painful to recover from.

A highly skilled leader lives through the process of transition with others in a genuine and authentic way. They help their people flex and adapt, and foster their ability to contribute in new and meaningful ways. Here’s an overview of the twelve competencies:

Catalyzing Change versus Coping with Transition

Catalyzing Change is championing an initiative or significant change. A leader who is skilled at catalyzing change consistently promotes the cause, encourages others to get on board, and reinforces those who already are. Such leaders are highly driven and eager to get others engaged in new initiatives.

Coping with Transition involves recognizing and addressing the personal and emotional elements of change. Leaders who are able to cope with transition are in touch with their personal reactions to change and transition and make use of that emotional information. They lead by example.

Sense of Urgency versus Realistic Patience

Sense of Urgency involves taking action quickly when necessary to keep things rolling. Leaders who have a strong sense of urgency move fast on issues and accelerate the pace for everyone. They value action and know how to get things done.

Realistic Patience involves knowing when and how to slow the pace to allow time and space for people to cope and adapt. Leaders who display realistic patience appreciate the fact that people learn and deal with change differently and do not judge them based on their own styles, preferences, or capabilities.

Being Tough versus Being Empathetic

Being Tough denotes the ability to make difficult decisions about issues and people with little hesitation or second-guessing. Leaders who are comfortable and secure with themselves can display toughness; they’re not afraid to take a stand in the face of public opinion or strong resistance.

Being Empathetic requires taking others’ perspectives into account when making decisions and taking action. Empathetic leaders try to put themselves in other people’s shoes; they’re able to enhance their own perspectives by considering the views of others.

Optimism versus Realism and Openness

Optimism is the ability to see the positive potential of any challenge. Leaders who exude optimism can communicate and convey that optimism to others.

The combination of Realism and Openness denotes a grounded perspective and a willingness to be candid. Leaders who practice this competency are clear and honest about assessing a situation and the prospects for the future. They are candid in communicating what is known and not known. When managers exhibit realism and openness, they speak the truth, don’t sugarcoat the facts, and are willing to admit personal mistakes and foibles.

Self-Reliance versus Trusting Others

Self-Reliance involves a willingness to take a lead role and even to do something yourself when necessary. Self-reliant leaders have a great deal of confidence in their skills and abilities and are willing to step up and tackle new challenges.

Trusting Others means being comfortable with allowing others to do their part of a task or project. A leader who trusts others is open to input and support from colleagues and friends. Such leaders respect others and demonstrate trust through a willingness to be vulnerable with them.

Capitalizing on Strengths versus Going Against the Grain

Capitalizing on Strengths entails knowing your strengths and attributes, and confidently applying them to tackle new situations and circumstances. A leader who knows how to capitalize on strengths trusts the abilities that have generated success, rewards, recognition, compliments, and promotions in the past and uses them in new situations.

Going Against the Grain entails a willingness to learn and try new things, even when the process is hard or painful. Leaders who can go against the grain are willing to get out of their comfort zones. They are willing to tolerate discomfort if it leads to learning.

I don’t know about you, but when I read these competencies, I see that there are some inherent conflicts between them. In the face of change and turmoil, it’s interesting that people look for those who are simultaneously strong and vulnerable, heroic yet open, demanding while compassionate. Leading well often feels like an impossible balancing act. It can be exhausting!

For me, I think it’s most about knowing yourself as a leader. Knowing what is genuinely, authentically you and applying that consistently and well over time. And when you have those critical learning moments, take the new discoveries and further polish and refine your leadership skills.

cyclists

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Leading with Compassion and Authenticity

Leading with Compassion and Authenticity

Leading with compassion

One of my favorite leadership books is “Leading with Authenticity in Times of Transition” by Kerry Bunker and Michael Wakefield. For a business world awash in leadership titles, this one is a particular jewel because of its focus on the complex human dynamics of transition. I find that organizations are often quite adept at addressing the structural side of change – reorganizing, restructuring, creating new vision, mission, strategy, and so on. What I see far more struggle with is leading and attending to the human side of change – letting go, grieving loss, building hope, and exhibiting compassion.

With high expectations and great demands on our time, the tendency is to fast forward through, or skip altogether, the space needed to reflect on and process the emotional impact resulting from change. But when these emotions are not accepted and addressed as natural and important components, resistance can intensify over the change continuum.

In my career, I’ve served in a number of executive leadership roles for nonprofit organizations. Often, we faced significant organizational change that involved not only our own organization, but also stakeholders and other partnering community groups.

From my experiences, I’ve learned that addressing the delicate human dynamics of change is absolutely critical. A question I ask is “where do you want the pain?” For me, it’s  a point of either leaning in to these elements early on – shortly after the change event is announced and acknowledged – or coming back to it later in the process when an organization is trying to implement new process and structure. I find it far better (after much practice, and even failure) to meet it early on. It’s arduous, messy, the process takes longer…and it is absolutely the right thing to do. Get it right, and the resultant implementation can soar.

From these experiences, I’ve grown as a leader, developing compassion, concern, and genuine care for my team and others – a much-needed muscle to lead effectively. Early on, it didn’t come naturally. I wanted to move fast, make decisions, take action, and move on. And I see this in many organizations I work with today.

As Bunker and Wakefield point out, leaders must:

  • Examine their behaviors and emotions tied to change and transition. This begins the process of operating from a place of authenticity as a leader.
  • Establish and protect trust. Without trust and honesty, authenticity and credibility suffer – undermining otherwise solid change initiatives or management decisions.
  • Find a balance between structural leadership and people leadership. By learning important competencies for leading in times of change and transition, leaders gain a new perspective from which to operate.

Later this week, I’ll post more on key leadership competencies critical for transition. What are some of your successful practices in leading through transition?

“You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within them.”

–Bob Nelson